A Fool’s Errand [to be added to the collection of pieces that amount to The Life and Opinions of Thomas Sarebbononnato]

 

Prologue

A man not so much unlike another man I met when I was only a little younger than I am today, as if this day were not so unlike any other day in my life, each day of my life . . . what is it that I think I want to say about something I am imagining now I need to say, although it might be according to what I have absorbed from you concerning what it is you think you know you believe you must say to me about your grandfather’s brothers who were Teamsters at the beginning . . . and so don’t go and try explaining to me what the reasons are for the Democrats moving to the right of center and pimping America for Wall Street. Where did they expect the Republicans to go except off a cliff of reactionary lunacy. You think Obama was a liberal? Or so any one of us reading this, thinking this could say, that is ask . . .

I

Waiters and waitresses are remiss in their duty to keep the drinks coming . . . and I know how this has nothing at all to do with Mercator’s atlas or how he was able to reconcile the globe with the two dimensional planes of his maps in his Atlas . . . it was never finalized as we see it today, yes, not in his lifetime–yes, the atlas was finalized after his death.

If I were another man, I would take a long pause here, but I do not because I am not, not as I have herein suggested . . . I would need to be the kind of man who would pause a long time here. What I do have to do is find my way back to reading Montaigne . . . to philosophize is to learn how to die . . . you know this, I think I know.

II

Yes, what is it that makes me think we in America have become ever more prudish and slightly more puritanical is how often I notice waiters and waitresses today are really bad at coming around and asking if you want another drink.

Is it that . . . or is it that too many waiters and waitresses come to New York City from some very narrowly backward Yokel-ville part of America with a closeted puritanical streak in them . . . all of these White fuckers coming to New York . . . we could really do without them, no?

III

I ask, you ask, we do what we do in face of so many questions to ask–answers, now that might be something, but no, we do not get them, make them, offer anything that might seem close to them . . . maybe this should be, he might have asked, could have asked . . . there are differing moods, no? Sometimes I will imagine it should be, he should have asked. What then must an actor say when in search of his character?

Should,would and could are three fools wandering the world, no? Or is it, Would have, Should have, Could have, that are the fools? I have the feeling that we have become much narrower . . . and it does not much matter if it is the present conditional or the conditional perfect . . . a fool’s errand each them would be on.

Yes, I could say that we have become so, or ask if we have become so, would I do so, to anyone who I imagined could answer such a question? Who says this . . . and it is says, not said or any other verbal construction for the presentation of speech that could indicate past time . . . and we must remember that tense is not time, that there is past time and a whole collection of tenses and moods too convey this past time, to articulate it, yes . . . you are here hearing him speak . . . yet I will not say, he is saying . . .

Yes, we are far more limited and limiting about freedom, what freedom means, what it could mean . . .you do not think so, I can see in your eyes . . .but this is for each of US, yes, We the People . . . and yes, People must be capitalized, you do get this, don’t you? Yes, the ‘W’ is capitalized . . . but not like the bank does to your college loan when you have trouble making payments. How is it that anyone cannot tell that we are a lot more uptight than we have ever been, individually, interpersonally, and that’s in spite of having lived through a time when the institutions were much more constricted and constricting . . .

IV

I would like to go back and kill the bank agent who brokered me through the capitalization process . . . I hope her children die a very horrible death, suffering as no human has ever suffered pain . . . but then . . . I do not really want this, or so I say, imagining that I should . . .

Wait! I do not know what else to say.  I don’t really understand what I am doing here. What my motivation is for standing up as I do . . .

Moreover nonetheless however, all of us have moved further to the right–

We have, haven’t we?

Yes, everyone is moving to the right . . . ever further to the Right . . .

Whereby the Democrats, who once defended liberal politics in America, have abandoned the cause of liberalism and moved right of center . . .

That dividing line between eternal political left and right.

If living in America now is not shoving a stick up your ass, then nothing ever was in this world.

V

I also say that he fears we will come to a place where we will choose the most heinously violent measures to rectify our socio-poltical problems, but most assuredly, our socio-economic discrepancies too wide for any society purporting to be democratic to endure. Who is he? Who is this he?

Any society like ours cannot long endure the disparities that we do, as we have, no, not for long.

Not so long as we continue to think Race is the first and last of America’s problems when Race has always been a symptom of Class and Class a symptom of Power and Money and the intricate alliances the variegated categories of each weave with the other. RACE remains a problem because we are not treating its source. And Power and Money do not want US too.

Epilogue

The letters U and S in US are capitalized to mimic the initials in U.S. as in the United States, thus, US. Not impressive? I did not do so to impress, but then how is it anyone who writes anything can think that what he has done is not to impress, even if he has eschewed the efforts, or what some might conclude are efforts toward this aim, or should that be goal.

 

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